I couldn’t stop staring at the picture of this young lady. This young mulatto girl from the 19^th century, who appears to look white and though there is no expression on her face, I am sure she had a lot of joy and heart aches during that timepoint in her life.

In the quest to find my roots this picture was sent to me. That young lady is my 3rd paternal great grandmother. Jeanette Eugenia Jordan was her name. She was born in 1872 just 7 years after the abolition of slavery. With this picture, I was also sent a picture of her parents who were also mulattos. I started to imagine what it must have been like for them during that era. 1872 was at the tail-end of the Reconstruction era, however, it was about the late 1880s when this picture was taken. During this time, Jim Crow laws were enacted as the Federal soldiers left the South. The nation had experienced its second assassination of a president . Sharecropping was the source of economic income in the south. Nonetheless, Grandma Jeanette appeared to be prosperous. Judging from the picture it looked like she was well taken care of because she had jewelry, obviously had a curling iron of some sort, was neatly dressed and could afford to have a picture taken. When I saw this, I was amazed and a little pleased that she appeared to come from some monetary wealth during that time. She reminded me of the main character in Alex Haley’s movie Queen. The movie depicted the life of a young mulatta who suffered from the “tragic mulatta” archetype. She was her master’s daughter. He treated her very nicely and ensured she was well taken care of however, after the Civil War she was cast out of the house to live as a typical black woman. She often passed as white but could not keep her black half a secret which led her to poverty and insanity.

The longer I stared at the picture the more I thought about what her personality, attitude, and experience was like. Where did she get this privilege from? Was she a “tragic mulatta?”Did she have hopes and dreams like me? Did she dream about the man she would marry or what she would make of herself as an adult like girls of today think? What did she pray about? Did she have a social life? Probably not I answered in my head. She probably had dreams but she definitely didn’t have hope to actually pursue those dreams because she was female and black.

I’m so glad I didn’t live during those times. Though I used to wish to have a look like hers growing up because of being bullied and teased for my dark skin, I would not want to trade places with her. I am reminded that I am fortunate to grow up in a time period where it is okay for a black woman whether dark or light to have a dream and pursue it. Not having to rely on a man to approve or change her dream. I am grateful to be able to share my family history truthfully and freely. I am grateful to be able to sit here and realize that my life and experiences are not my own. My life is for a purpose. Being able to see my ancestors from 5 generations ago lets me know that I will eventually be an ancestor to someone who will look back at my life. Knowing this creates a fire in my heart to make the most of myself and make good decisions so that my offspring can have something to be proud of when they find my picture.

What do you hope to pass on to your offspring when they research your life?

Have you been surprised at what you found when researching your family history?

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Sidenote: I’m hoping to continue finding my roots and hopefully take a DNA test. I will keep you posted on my results.