Sitting here watching Waiting to Exhale for the umpteenth time of my life. I remember when it first came out back in the 90s. My folks wouldn’t let me watch it because I was too young and they didn’t think it was appropriate for a child. Now I see why(all that sex and profanity). Every time I watch it, I can completely identify with the women in the movie however, the one that stands out to me the most is Bernadine. I wanted to cry when her husband told her he didn’t want to go to the party with her, but with someone else. Even though, I’m not married I could totally see myself in her shoes because she is probably how I would be if I was to be married now. I would be totally wrapped up in being a wife and mother so much that when I get that stripped from me I would lose it and go crazy.

But this movie struck me in a different way now. I guess because I’m now a full fledge adult, aware of my self-identity, and have much more experience with the workings of life (good, bad and ugly). I kept thinking through the movie “is marriage even worth it anymore?” I mean this movie is over 20 years old. Women are somewhat different now. More independent, marrying and having kids later in life– if at all. Is having “a man” still at the forefront of women’s minds today? Are more and more women being taught and socially constructed to not be as desperate and needing of a man instead of being so thirsty for a man that they would give up everything they worked so hard for?

I guess the answer is no because statistics state that out of the Millennial Generation only 26 percent are getting married at 18 to 33years old compared to my grandmother’s generation (b 1925-1945)of 65 percent, Baby Boomers at 48 percent and Generation X 36 percent. This is a big jump over a span of 90 years. Many blame this drop on women’s rights, but I beg to differ. That is partly the reason. Men can share the blame on this statistic(because it’s not always the woman’s fault). It seems that as America moves further from the women’s rights era and an independent woman becomes more of the normal instead of the abnormal i.e. having a career, traveling (solo), having a credit card in HER name the less women have to put up with men’s B.S. Therefore, it has been found and proven since the 1970s that women actually have a brain and can use it to reason that if a man is treating her like scum then she actually doesn’t have to marry him for security or status. Now that security and status is out of the picture it is less likely that a woman would put up with B.S but rather choose to be single until the right guy comes along which sometimes takes longer than her early 20s.

I’m not a “bra-burning feminist” nor am I one to put up with lies and shallow flattery (as you can tell). I think women need men just as much as men need women. But if I’m going to have a man, I want one with morals and back-bone not someone who “wants to have his cake and eat it, too,” but when it comes to his wife she must be this way or that way only if it benefits him. Sorry sir, that’s not the way life goes. I won’t put up with any kind of man just so I can say I have one. That’s just me. What do you think? Is marriage worth it anymore going into the third decade of the 21^st century?

Next weeks post: Debt: Is this normal in America?